How To Make A Woman Come
Here are a couple of ideas to start you on your way to a better sex life, the kind that excites you, makes you tingle, raises your blood pressure, and gives you massive orgasms!
If you're like most couples, you and your partner have at times expressed wishes and made promises about sex to one another; e.g., to have sex more often, to do it earlier in the evening, to take more time making love, or to try locations other than the bed.
Look at the wishes and promises that have not been fulfilled. Come on, it's probably most of them.
Choose one of them - say, to start lovemaking earlier in the evening - and do what's necessary to actually do it sometime in the next four days.
And if you want to get to sex earlier, one possibility is to have sex before dinner. Each of you should have a snack-say, an apple or a piece of cheese - then repair to the bedroom.
Have a good time first, and then ask what's for dinner. Another increasingly popular option is that one of you bring home a take-out meal.
This means no cooking and no cleaning up. With a little imagination, you can probably come up with other possibilities.
Do you and your mate usually schedule sex? If not, consider it.
Suggest to your partner that since you both get home early on Wednesdays, you make a plan for next Wednesday: a nice take-out dinner to be followed by fun and games in bed.
If the date goes well, consider making Wednesday evenings your regular sex night. If it doesn't go well, discuss how to make it better. Whatever option you choose, implement it as soon as possible.
Talking about sex problems
When sex problems occur - whether it be a one-time event when the man doesn't get or keep an erection or when the woman doesn't lubricate as usual or get aroused, or whether it be a chronic situation having to do with desire or functioning - talking is absolutely necessary.
Yet the occurrence of problems for many couples makes talking even more difficult because of the embarrassment and shame involved. And when there is no talking, people's worst fantasies take over.
The woman whose partner didn't get an erection starts to think he doesn't love her anymore or find her desirable. The man whose partner doesn't lubricate or get aroused as quickly as previously, or have an orgasm, may harbor similar fantasies.
Effective Sex Talk
And when chronic conditions occur that may necessitate a whole new approach to sex, the lack of talking often means no more sex at all.
Extensive and continuing discussions are often necessary to keep sex alive.
Fortunately, all the couples described are lovers and were able to have these conversations. It wasn't easy talking about sex often is not easy - but it had to be done and was.
If you're one of those people who have trouble talking about sex, you may be able to take heart from the fact that talking, is also the aspect of sex that lovers had the most trouble with.
A number noted that they or their partners weren't quite as free and open as they liked. One man said that although he had overcome most of his inhibitions about verbalizing about sex, his partner lagged behind.
He'd like her to talk more, but he knows that's not about to happen. A woman lover reported that although she and her partner of almost 30 years had both improved somewhat in their ability to express their sexual desires over the years, it was still less than ideal.
Talking is necessary and helpful, but for many people, even lovers, it's anything but easy.
The best kind of conversation regarding sex problems is after expressing whatever feelings need expressing, there should be a specific definition of the problem, what difficulties it is creating, what goal is desired, what resources are available, and which solution to start with.
WHAT IS NORMAL SEX?
It is really not clear where the boundaries between normal or abnormal human sexual behavior lie.
Concepts of sexual normalcy and pathology are based more on social attitudes than on scientific facts. Even now our definitions of what is sexually normal and what is abnormal is in the process of changing.
In the past people were horrified and considered "kinky" or sick any sexual practice which deviated from the straight "missionary position" of sexual intercourse.
Many sexual practices which are now considered normal, such as masturbation or oral sex, were actually defined as criminal acts and there are still people serving jail sentences today for these "crimes."
Sexual fantasies which seem a bit unusual are not considered harmful by most experts any longer, although in the past it was believed such fantasies were a sign of deep trouble.
Some things have changed, of course - internet porn addiction is a major problem. Indeed, porn is changing the ways men and women see each other in a sexual context. Dealing with sexual problems may still be difficult, though EFT tapping can help significantly.
Masturbation means stimulating your own genitals. Most males masturbate with their hand, while some rub their penis against the his tendency to masturbate decline, but masturbation is normal throughout life.
Even when a partner is available, occasional masturbation is a normal phenomenon.
Kinsey found that about 40 percent of normal women masturbate. Some girls begin to masturbate during childhood and adolescence, but others do not discover that they can pleasure their own bodies until after they have had sexual experiences with a partner.
So female masturbation peaks later in life, probably between the years of thirty and forty.
For a long time masturbation was considered both sinful and harmful. Some religious groups regarded masturbation as a cardinal sin.
The general public, and doctors as well, believed that masturbation was extremely dangerous, causing insanity, cancer, general weakening, blindness, sterility, mental deficiency, impotence, sterility, death, and hair growth on the palm of the hand!
"Cures" for masturbation included being put in a straitjacket and/or having one's clitoris surgically removed.
Today we know that most normal people masturbate and that far from causing any harm, masturbation may be a constructive experience.
Again, most authorities now believe that it is normal for males and females to masturbate throughout life, even when a sexual partner is available.
In fact, self-stimulation can be a normal and enjoyable part of lovemaking when you do it together with a partner. Indeed, masturbation can be a useful way of learning to last longer during sexual stimulation.
However, there are some people who masturbate compulsively and excessively. Such people are suffering from anxiety and use masturbation as a tranquilizer.
Their masturbation is not what
causes harm, it's their anxiety. They need help for their anxiety. Some
people masturbate because they are afraid to have sex with a partner.
But again, it is the fear of a partner, not the masturbation, that is
If you feel guilty about masturbating, if you are in conflict about doing it, and worry about the sexual fantasies that accompany it, these negative feelings may become associated with all your sexual thoughts and feelings and that certainly is not very good for your sex life or your general health and knowing how to lower blood pressure!
It is impossible to talk about masturbation without also mentioning sexual fantasies, because most people create erotic images in their mind while they are stimulating themselves.
When a baby first fingers his genitals he is probably not thinking about anything. However as soon as our brains mature enough so we can form thoughts and images, masturbation is usually accompanied by fantasies.
In other words, people tell themselves sexy stories or imagine sexual pictures or create whole erotic scenarios while they are stimulating themselves. Some people don't use their imagination, but look at erotic pictures instead.
Internet porn sites are devoted to providing sexual images which are used for masturbation.
The content of sexual fantasy varies from a simple image of a nude person or of just genitals, to complicated plots which involve seductions, desert islands, heroic rescues, bondage, orgies, groups, homosexual activities, and so on. I have already mentioned that some people have sexual fantasies which seem "way out" or sick.
Such fantasies may worry them, and cause them to feel that they are disturbed or make them feel guilty and ashamed. Actually, perfectly healthy and normal men and women enjoy sexual fantasies, not only during masturbation, but also when they are sharing sex with a partner.
The content of the fantasy is not as important as people think.
Fantasies act like a kind of tranquilizer because they distract one from momentary anxieties that may occur during lovemaking and spoil it. Thus fantasy can enhance the sexual experience.
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April 4 2018